2-14-2020
I’m gonna call you Atlantic Broadband. You’re a little slow but I’m still feeling a connection.
You must live on route 857 because you need to give me a fair-chance.
Damn, you must be Sheetz because I been waiting all night to shmack that ass.
You must be Lafayette Junior high school because I wanna put a couple bad kids in you.
You must be the Redstone Creek because I wanna take a dip in you.
Are your parents bakers at Giant Eagle? Because they made a a cutie-pie.
Kiss me if I’m wrong but Sears is still in the mall right?
Girl you must be Game Vault because you got things I wanna play with up top and downstairs.
Was your dad my mom’s ex boyfriend, because you’re a knockout.
You’re like the money I lost at Lady Luck last night. My wife doesn’t need to know about you.
I bet you work at Meloni’s because you veal be mine.
Girl, you like Walmart before it snows. Outta bread and half of Fayette County been inside you.
Do you wanna go to Highland House or just skip it and go straight to my mom’s house?
That outfit would look great crumpled up in Redstone Creek on the 11 o’clock news.
There might be another tornado coming, better get in my mom’s basement with me.
Hey you must be Rich’s Farms. I’d make you scream if I could afford to get inside.
You must be my baby daddy because you just made my jaw just hit the floor.
Girl you must be the bathroom at Dimarcos. Only two can fit but there’s a whole line waiting outside.
What’s the difference between a KIA and a boner? You never gave me a KIA.
Are you a small patch town? Because I wanna spend tonight in your Keisterville.
Why don’t you surprise your boyfriend’s parents and not come home tonight?
Wow you must be Spunky Monkey because I wanna spend my birthday in you.
Girl, you must be taxable income because I ain’t never seen nothing like you.
Is that a meth pipe in your pocket or did you just leave Vapori?
You must have got your jeans at Cal U because they look distressed and really easy to get into.
Oh holy shit, so relevant!!