By W.B. Mason
3/8/2020
Cases of the deadly Coronavirus are starting to ramp up worldwide, but the CGBS (Center for Gross and Bad Stuff) is stating that anyone who regulars down at Filthy Phil’s in Uniontown has nothing to fear. “After exhaustive studies, we can safely say that if you’re able to get in and out of Phil’s without contracting any sort of rash, upset stomach, or crabs – your immune system will reject the Coronavirus” said CGBS director Dorothy Zbornak.

Lmao