By Dixie Normous
2/19/2020
Fayette County commissioners know just how important the Census is. If the Fayette County population count is below 145,000 for the second straight Census Fayette County will become a Fourth World County, and can lose federal grants, among, “other things”, said County Commissioner Wince Useedeez.
The ever prolific Useedeez then said, “We don’t want to lose that funding.”
The difference between a third and fourth world county is akin to comparing a very poor location like Argentina, with a barren wasteland such as Tanzania, or the surface of Mars.
When asked what steps the commissioner has taken to draw middle class citizens into Fayette County Useedeez answered, “We’ve only begun to see the growth that Hobby Lobby may have over the next several decades. And we’re getting a Primanti Bros pretty soon.”
“If we lose federal funding we are going to have to make some very hard, real world decisions,” Useedeez said. “It’s hard to imagine a time when we may have to choose between the FACT bus and the Perryopolis Methadone Clinic, but that time may be upon us.”
Congrats to Wince Useedeez on his third marriage. I guess you had to go clear to Florida to find someone with a belief system that favors hope over history.