Fish and Boat Commission Cancels PA first day of trout season

By: Emmanuel Kerston


PA Fish and Boat Commission votes to cancel the first day of Trout season.    

After many hours of debate the Commission decided Thursday that cancelling trout season will behoove each and every angler who likes to stand shoulder to shoulder at a fishing stream on April 18,

Gary ‘Bigmouth’ Bass, a spokesman for the Commissioners stated “This may seem fishy to some, but overcrowding at small damp pools is the ideal condition for a virus of this scale to grow. What we’ve been herring from our fisherman is that they want to help turtlely stop the spread of the virus. You betta believe by doing this the PAFABC will be taking a bold step in assisting anglers who are whaley concerned with the health and well being of all Pensylvanians.”   

Any trout stockings that have not been delivered will be sent to understocked food banks in the area. 

On a lesser note, one small reason the decision was made is the fact that no fisherman would be able to find toilet paper to carry with them, forcing them to poop in normal places.

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