Laurel Mall vendors apply for "life sustaining" closing exemption

By Dixie Normous


On Tuesday the Laurel Mall Union of Flea Market Vendors and Carnies plan to petition the Pennsylvania State Government to keep their stores and shops open during the non life sustaining business ban.  

Jeffro Keefer, owner of “Jeffro’s Used Music CDs and Lectronics” wrote in the petition, “whach yall doin is unfair now.  Peoples needing these lectronics n stuff to keep their wits about them durin this pandemec. i just got me a hole box of oldies but goodies like the supremes n forner.  I got $15 tied up in this box and now i cant move it now.”

Governor Wolf’s state wide ban of non essential business has so far mostly only exempted stores that sell groceries, shipping business, shops that sell medical supplies, and oddly enough, beer distributors.

Dusty Fike, who works at “Tucker’s Tools You Can Almost Use” (a subsidiary of Tucker’s Bullets That Might Fire), told us, “We got a lot of life sustaining things in here now.  Over there is a rusty saw you could use to amputate someone’s leg if they get caught up under something now. That thing on the wall there, that used to be a shovel but now you can use that handle to defend yourself if someone tries to throw them hands.”

Recently, GameStop came under heavy public scrutiny when they claimed to be an essential business during the ban due to the fact that they sell gaming keyboards and mice. Laurel Mall shop owner’s however are convinced that they offer essential, and life sustaining goods.

Chester C. Hayes, owner of “Work Gloves n’ Things” said, “everybody is needing gloves n things right now.  I got me whole boxes of work gloves n Scotch tape in here.  You can’t get this stuff nowhere else. I just got an entire shipment in from China I just popped open.

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