By Rod Gozinya
A local man has invented a mask which he claims can stop up to 99.7% of body odor from reaching a person’s nose.
Gordon Spence of Smithfield spent the last 3 years of his life designing the mask, which he claims can almost fully neutralize the smell of body odor.
“My firsts tests were at an animal shelter and Laurel Mall. I was unable to smell any of the unpleasant aromas that these places are known for,” said Spence. “But I knew the real test would be Walmart,” he continued.
Friday night Spence geared up and walked the isles of the crowded Uniontown Walmart.
“I smelled nothing,” said Spence. “I walked right up to hillbillies, babies with soiled diapers, and every person with a camo jacket in the place,” he continued.
Local residents were outspoken on Spence’s invention. Tonya Bailey doesn’t seem to mind BO very much.
Roger A. Lowe apparently believes everyone should have to smell is sweet stank.
Betty Thorpe believes the mask is not real because people can smell body odor through their legs apparently. We also learned that her child is very timid.
Spence plans to mass produce the masks and sell them at Target this spring. There is no word yet on if the mask can actually stop his own body odor however.