Man with muscles walks into Target, causes mass panic!

By Anita Hanjaab


Shoppers evacuated Target in South Union Township on Wednesday.  A construction worker stopped to pick up a few items and entered the store on his way home, causing confusion and chaos among the shoppers and workers.

Ryan Anderson, 36, stopped at the Target location to pick up a birthday card for his wife Julie.  The Target shoppers, who aren’t accustomed to seeing men with muscles and testosterone fled in terror.

Soy boy Ezra McBride said, “Ruffians like that need to stay at Walmart or Harbor Freight, Target is our safe space.”

Bethanie Johnson also fled the store.  “I was also looking at cards. He glanced and said ‘hi’. I just felt so worried he was going to objectify me,” Johnson said.

Since Anderson did not enter Starbucks, Target chose not to press charges. Management did request that he wear over-sized glasses and a flannel shirt to hide his masculinity next time he is in the store.

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