Out of work Trump Vendors Find Jobs Overseas

By Jed I. Knight


Millions of voters were devastated by Joe Biden’s recent inauguration to President of the United States.  But also, millions of the famous “MAGA” hats and clothing were left out in the cold when Donald Trump left the whitehouse for the last time.

Odds are the Trump tent has visited your town sometime in the last four years.  You may have even had the chance to do your holiday shopping inside one.  Need a new confederate flag for the bed of your truck?  The Trump tent had it covered.  Need a “these colors don’t run” bottle opener to crack open your ice cold bottle of Bud?  The Trump tent would spring into action.  What better way for your baby’s mother to hide bruises than with a pack of Punisher skull bandages from the Trump tent?

With Trump now out of office, Trump tents across the nation started to go bankrupt.  Arnold Smittley owned a Trump Tent in Fairchance.  “I got all these hats and stuff me and the old lady made in the cellar and now ain’t anyone buyin the shit”, Smittley said in a phone interview.  Apparently, once clothing is printed on the print is nearly impossible to remove.  That’s when Smittley’s cousin Deb came to the rescue. “She says, ‘why don’t ya’ll just use a marker and fix it ya big bonehead?’”, Smittley continued.  “We went down the Dollar General and got us a Sharpie marker and changed ‘em all to ‘Make Latin America Great Again’.  Next thing I know, we got us on a boat to Cuba and now we’re back in business”, he finished.

Cuba’s next elections are scheduled for 2023.  Time will tell if more Trump tent vendors will follow the Smittley’s lead and relocate to Latin America.  With Cuba’s relaxed tax code and nonchalant approach to domestic violence it definitely appears that the grass may be greener on the other side of the ocean for these entrepreneurs.

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