Post Bachelor depression already distressing housewives

By Jed I. Knight


Tuesday night ABC’s “The Bachelor” ended its 24th season.  The finale saw “the bachelor”, Peter Weber break off his engagement with Hannah Ann Sluss and, with a little help from host Chris Harrison, renew a relationship with runner-up Madison Prewett, despite the vocal protests of his mother, Barbara Weber.

For those of you who haven’t stopped reading yet, it has been found that local housewives are already showing signs of Post Bachelor Depression, or “Bachelor Blues”. 

Bachelor Blues typically begin within the first 48 hours after the show’s finale, and may last for up to two weeks. The symptoms include mood swings, crying spells, anxiety, difficulty sleeping, inability to have sex with their husbands, desire to text exes and increased consumption of boxed wine. 

In the final episode Weber told Stuss, “I want so badly to be able to give you everything, give you my entire heart, because that’s what you do to me and that’s everything you deserve, and I can’t do that. I’m so sorry.”

It is believed that statements like these can lead housewives to believe that real men actually speak this way.  When the show ends, the women are forced to return to a reality where their husbands just want to have sex, fall asleep and wake up to clean socks and bacon.

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