by Dixie Normous
3/6/2020
Uniontown School District recently made the national news when a student filed a lawsuit claiming to have been hazed while trying out for the football team at preseason camp in 2018.
The report claims that the student was assaulted by another player, causing his eardrum to be ruptured. The student also alleges that he was punched in his sleep, and that he was openly made fun of and mocked for the injuries by the high school’s head coach, Cedric Lloyd.
Never one to be out of the spotlight for very long himself, Superintendent Chuckles Molesty has filed a hazing lawsuit against North Catholic High School, who defeated the Red Raiders by a score of 56-14 last season and 70-0 in 2018.
Molesty released this statement:
“We define hazing as any action taken or any situation created intentionally that causes embarrassment, harassment or ridicule and risks emotional and/or physical harm to members of a group or team. North Catholic embarrassed our team, our faculty, and our staff so egregiously that we almost hesitated to spend an outrageous amount of taxpayer money on the 2020 football season.”
Luckily for the other teams in Uniontown’s division the school district will once again spend an outrageous amount of money on the football team, who hasn’t had a competitive season since the real red raiders roamed the plains.
