By Justin Sider
With Falling Water’s Customer Appreciation Day coming up shortly, we made a list of other things you can do to appreciate Fayette County, while still honoring those who came before you.
5. Hide your weed in your kid’s Elmo backpack and send him to school. That’ll teach the little bastard.
4. Put on your shortest shorts, grab your purse and go sit in Meloni’s for 6 hours. Make sure you keep telling the waitress what you used to buy at Food Land VERY LOUDLY.
3. Dress up like a chubby ninja and smash out a bunch of car windows.
2. Take a shit in Marshall Park. Grab a sub over at Phil’s and by the time you walk that block you’ll be ready to fertilize the entire park.
1. Rob a pizza joint with a sloppy note written on toilet paper. Just make sure you don’t leave the rest of the TP and the pen you used on your kitchen table, just in case.