By Justin Sider
3/16/2020
On Monday morning the World Health Organization advised researchers to stop making human centipedes for at least 6 weeks. The United States Federal Government followed suit by placing a temporary ban on the research technique until further notice.
WHO spokesperson Mysha Long was quoted as saying, “Even if all members of your centipede test negative for COVID-19 there could be a potential health risk involved if one member comes in contact with the virus. It could then spread to the next person because their mouth is attached to the following person’s butthole.”
Millennials, who are known to enjoy putting everything in their mouths, from buttholes to Tide Pods are also advised to exercise restraint from these activities at least until the virus is under control due to hospital overcrowding.
