By Willie Stroker
It’s never too early to start saving for retirement. Maybe your rent is a few months behind. How about that summer vacation you’ve been dreaming of? Here are 5 proven methods to start saving money right now in Fayette County.
5. Get another tattoo.
These days everyone from small time heroin dealers to famous musicians like Post Malone are covered in tattoos. If you want to be successful, it’s time to start looking the part. Finish that sleeve. Get your favorite 4 letter swear word on your knuckles. Just please don’t get the c word. Never get the c word.
4. Buy a dog
If you’re going to be out there all day making that cheddar then you need to protect what you already have. Pitbulls and Yorkies are super popular right now. As a bonus, when your dog isn’t protecting your valuables you can post selfies with them to let everyone know you’ve made it.
3. Borrow something from a neighbor and sell it online
The internet is a great way to make extra money. Facebook marketplaces let thousands of shoppers in your area see what you have to offer. Plus, it’s the middle of winter. Is the neighbor kid really going to miss that bike?
2. Smoke less meth
If you’ve already had your evening meth and you find yourself reaching for more, ask yourself, “do I really need more meth?” You’ll be surprised to find that the answer is usually “no”.
1 Re-home your dog
If all else fails and you need money right now, time to find a new home for Bentley. Advertise your dog online and make it known that you don’t want to take them to a shelter, but you have no choice if no one will take them. Make sure to charge a re-homing fee to recoup the money from all those vet visits and grooming appointments.